~reading~ Equal Parts Terrified & Excited

When I was visiting friends in the city we were talking about books and I mentioned all I ever read anymore are books about farming and food. This isn’t 100% true, but pretty close.

A couple weeks ago I breezed through a book on microgreens in just two days; on my night stand is a book about garlic, in my living room there are books about bees, farming and cooking; on my couch is The New Organic Grower by Eliot Coleman.

Yesterday I told a friend/coworker that the more I read the more I feel like I just don’t know anything. Also, not 100% true, but sometimes it feels that way.

I want to start “farming” this fall. I put it in quotes because I certainly won’t feel like a farmer. I think that would take years, to be quite honest. I just want to put something in the ground. Much like having a kid, I feel like there’s never a good time to do any of this, but if I just do it, I have propelled myself forward.

I’m trying to also be frugal, but wincing at the costs of some of the things I will probably really need. I need to start very slow, as I am certain many mistakes will be made along the way.

In the meantime, I’m reading everything I can fit into an already busy schedule that relates to what I want to do.

It’s awfully weird to know that within the next year I get to begin doing something I’ve wanted for some time, while also knowing I will have days where I cry my eyes out with frustration and exhaustion. It’s also weird knowing you will have failures, but have no idea yet what they will be.

A friend of mine in college used to say that I’m like a cat…I always land on my feet. I really really hope that it still holds true.


4 thoughts on “~reading~ Equal Parts Terrified & Excited

  1. Ejay

    There is this podcast i listen to called ‘the chicken thistle coopcast’ and they talk about ‘farming meltdowns’. this is when you are on your last nerve and something happens that causes cataclysmic overwhelming failure and screaming.There is no, as far as i can tell, way to avoid these meltdowns. you just hope they keep to once a week.

  2. corrinadarling

    Ah! I know this is old, but I am so excited for you. I am sad that I won’t be there to chug a beer with you on the rough days. But, you are not just gonna land on your feet, you are gonna stick it gymnast-style, arms straight in the air and shit. You are going after what you want, and you are gonna get it. You’re such a fucking inspiration it makes me pride-sick to know you.


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